01
TRADE $MONGER
Degens buy. Degens sell. The machine turns.
MONGER.MONEYDEPARTMENT OF FINANCIAL ESCALATIONROBINHOOD CHAIN
PROCUREMENT CIRCULAR 002 · MONGER IS LIVE
WAR IS
BUSINESS.BUSINESS IS
BOOMING.
$MONGER is live on Robinhood Chain. Creator-side fees received by the MONGER Treasury split exactly one way: 10% to the creator, 90% to the WAR CHEST — which buys PLTR intended for distribution to eligible holders.
*This is satire, not a federal procurement program. Obviously.
90%
WAR CHEST
10%
CREATOR
0%
TEAM BAG
0%
DEV BUY
★LIVE ON ROBINHOOD CHAIN★SPECULATE FOR VICTORY★90% TO THE WAR CHEST★V1 TARGET: 100% PLTR★TIMELOCK ENGAGED★NO TEAM BAG★NO DEV BUY★MADE IN AMERICA*★NOT FOR AMERICANS*★BUSINESS IS BOOMING★LIVE ON ROBINHOOD CHAIN★SPECULATE FOR VICTORY★90% TO THE WAR CHEST★V1 TARGET: 100% PLTR★TIMELOCK ENGAGED★NO TEAM BAG★NO DEV BUY★MADE IN AMERICA*★NOT FOR AMERICANS*★BUSINESS IS BOOMING
A PROUD DOMESTIC EXPORT
BY AMERICANS.
NOT FOR AMERICANS.
An aggressively American-coded internet object whose Stock Token mechanics may be unavailable to Americans. If that feels absurd, congratulations: you have understood the assignment.
*Eligibility and jurisdictional restrictions apply to Stock Tokens and distributions. This joke is not the compliance policy.
MADE IN AMERICA.
NOT FOR AMERICANS.*
THE PROCUREMENT PROCESS
YOUR TRADES. OUR BUDGET.
No staking maze. No DAO theater. No twenty-page tokenomics PDF.
02
FEES ACCUMULATE
Pons creator-side fees route into the MongerTreasury. Real fees, really collected, on mainnet.
03
90% TO WAR CHEST
The Treasury contract enforces the split: 10% to the creator, 90% to the War Chest. Not a promise. A contract.
04
PLTR PROCUREMENT
Once the timelocked V1 basket activates, the War Chest buys PLTR via the approved execution path. Acquired PLTR is intended for future holder distribution through deterministic snapshot rounds.
PROTOCOL DOSSIER · V1 SAFEGUARDS · CLICK TO DECLASSIFY
- ALLOWLISTED ROUTER Only the canonical Uniswap Universal Router may execute. Everyone else is turned away at the gate.
- PLTR-ONLY OUTPUT V1 refuses to receive any token that is not PLTR. The War Chest does not improvise.
- TIMELOCKED BASKET CHANGES Every basket change sits in a 24-hour on-chain timelock. Public notice, always.
- HARVEST PAUSE Owner-controlled pause switch. Fees keep accumulating and collecting while harvesting is paused.
- KEEPER EXECUTION Purchases fire from a designated keeper on a schedule — not from vibes.
- SLIPPAGE PROTECTION Trades revert rather than accept a bad fill.
- PURCHASE LIMITS Per-transaction and per-run caps on procurement size.
- QUOTE DETERIORATION CHECKS If the quote degrades between pricing and execution, the trade stands down.
- PRE-TRADE SIMULATION Every transaction is simulated before it is sent.
- POST-TRADE VERIFICATION Output is verified after every fill. Trust, then verify, then verify again.
V1 BASKET HASH · 0xe48629dc7deb2ae3a3b342cd64c5992bfe8c75a4a84bf1c927031e364ec3c7a6
NO STAKING★NO GOVERNANCE★NO EMISSIONS★NO DEV BAG
THE MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL BASKET
MEET THE CONTRACTORS.
The V1 basket has been proposed on-chain: 100% PLTR. LMT and AVAV remain on backorder until Robinhood Chain liquidity reports for duty. Composition may evolve — always with 24 hours of public notice.
CONTRACT 01100% · V1
PLTR
Palantir
DEFENSE SOFTWARE / INTELLIGENCE
Sees everything. Sells most of it back to you as a dashboard subscription.
“We already knew you were going to buy this coin.”— HEAD OF KNOWING THINGS†
V1 TARGET · TIMELOCK ARMED
CONTRACT 020% · FOR NOW
LMT
Lockheed Martin
TRADITIONAL DEFENSE PRIME
Five-sided customer. Nine-figure change orders. Immaculate margins.
“The budget is not a ceiling. It is a warm-up.”— DIRECTOR OF COST GROWTH†
ON BACKORDER
THE ORDER BOOK HAS NOT YET REPORTED FOR DUTY.
CONTRACT 030% · FOR NOW
AVAV
AeroVironment
DRONES / AUTONOMOUS SYSTEMS
Small drones. Big feelings. Terms and conditions may explode.
“Our flagship product only crashes on purpose.”— DIRECTOR OF ONE-WAY TRIPS†
ON BACKORDER
LIQUIDITY STILL IN FLIGHT TRAINING.
Basket changes require 24 hours of on-chain public notice before activation. †All contractor quotes are 100% fabricated by the Monger Propaganda Division. No executive said these things. Probably no executive would.
WAR ROOM · OPERATIONAL
FOLLOW
THE MONEY.
Fees are live. The War Chest is funded. PLTR activation is pending the protocol's 24-hour timelock. Procurement numbers report here as rounds execute.
WAR CHEST // STATUS BOARDOPERATIONAL
MONGERLIVE
FEE COLLECTIONLIVE
WAR CHESTFUNDED
V1 TARGET100% PLTR
PLTR HARVESTINGTIMELOCKED
OPERATION LOG
01MONGER LAUNCHCOMPLETE
02TREASURY DEPLOYMENTCOMPLETE
03PONS FEE ROUTINGCOMPLETE
04LIVE FEE COLLECTIONCOMPLETE
05100% PLTR BASKET PROPOSALCOMPLETE
0624H BASKET TIMELOCKACTIVE
07PLTR HARVESTINGPENDING ACTIVATION
08HOLDER DISTRIBUTION ROUNDSCOMING NEXT
HOLDER APPROPRIATIONS
SPOILS OF WAR.
The War Chest doesn't hoard. PLTR it acquires is intended for distribution to eligible MONGER holders through deterministic snapshot rounds. Rounds are not live yet. Eligibility and jurisdictional restrictions apply — see the fine print, which is genuinely not a joke.
THE DEFENSE BUDGET
SIMPLE.
LOUD.
ONCHAIN.
TOTAL SUPPLY1,000,000,000 $MONGER
NETWORKROBINHOOD CHAIN · ID 4663
TEAM ALLOCATION0%
DEV BUY$0
WAR CHEST SHARE90% OF TREASURY CREATOR-SIDE FEES
CREATOR SHARE10% OF TREASURY CREATOR-SIDE FEES
V1 WAR CHEST TARGET100% PLTR
GOVERNANCENONE
VIBESAGGRESSIVELY PATRIOTIC
M-01
OFFICIAL POSITION
“AMERICA BUILDS THE WEAPONS.
THE REST OF THE WORLD GETS THE STOCK TOKENS.”
Again: joke. Great joke. Terrible foreign policy statement.
DO YOUR FINANCIAL DUTY
FEED THE
WAR CHEST.
The machine is live. Contracts are below — verify them, copy them, frame them. Keep your powder dry and your expectations unreasonable.
$MONGER STATUS
LIVE
CONTRACT REGISTRY · PUBLIC RECORD
MONGER0xFCCB…78AD
TREASURY0xdcE8…9020
SWAP EXECUTOR0x0227…b772
PLTR0x894E…4F2A